![](\"http:\/\/old.cestounecestou.sk\/user_upload\/images\/prezentujuci\/ondrej-landa.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
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Straith on the first page of Antaiji website we can read:<\/p>\n
\u2026Zazen without gain, Zazen which is one with enlightenment, is what is put into practice<\/p>\n
here.<\/p>\n
Strong words. So when coming here I had some expectations to be honest. I<\/p>\n
expected sangha of devoted and advanced practitioners, for example. And I<\/p>\n
expected balanced approach to the practice and farm work where apart from<\/p>\n
focused and controlling attitude towards the body and surrounding nature<\/p>\n
would be also emphasized sensitivity and humble surrender to them.<\/p>\n
Well, I haven\u2019t found it here. But I am not disappointed. I haven\u2019t got my<\/p>\n
expectations fulfilled but instead of it, as it often happens, I got exactly what I<\/p>\n
needed.<\/p>\n
I have come here as to a hospital. And my sickness to cure was my greed and<\/p>\n
pride, and attachment to action: to the creative energy itself. And yes, I should<\/p>\n
not forget about my stomach neither which, due to an excess of all these things in<\/p>\n
me, recently developed an illness of chronicle gastritis. Too much desire, stress,<\/p>\n
anger and work has damaged my stomach linen. I came here now to finally give a<\/p>\n
proper healing attention to my body and mind.<\/p>\n
So Antaiji is my hospital. Sangha is a group of nurses and Zazen the main doctor.<\/p>\n
And they all together are giving me just the right remedies for my sicknesses. I<\/p>\n
haven\u2019t found perfect sangha here, not at all, but the imperfections of the people<\/p>\n
here greatly reflect my own weaknesses so I can see them and work on them.<\/p>\n
Watching all the rush and even stress around when people hunt their<\/p>\n
obligations and free time activities makes me actually slow down and detach<\/p>\n
from my workaholic tendencies. Seeing others grabbing and pushing into mouth<\/p>\n
big quantities of food whenever there is an opportunity, helps me a lot to control<\/p>\n
my own greedy appetite. And what can be better treatment for one\u2019s own pride<\/p>\n
than receiving orders from younger and (or) less experienced and self-aware<\/p>\n
brothers? I can\u2019t complain about anything\u2026<\/p>\n
And as far as the dominant masculine attitude towards nature, other living<\/p>\n
creatures around and even to one\u2019s own body is concerned, I learned to<\/p>\n
understand it as a part of Antaiji\u2019s training program. Yes, in real, Antaiji is a<\/p>\n
school. School for a development of a human individual. And the first lesson one<\/p>\n
needs to pass in this subject is concentration and self-control: Gathering one\u2019s<\/p>\n
own powers and focus them in one direction. Together with developing self-<\/p>\n
awareness through dozens of daily rituals, rules and little responsibilities, a<\/p>\n
student is getting basic equipment to get further. But until he gets these basic<\/p>\n
skills there is not much space for sensitivity and surrender. When one is not able<\/p>\n
to grab oneself properly, there is no way to drop it.<\/p>\n
So I needed to learn to see Antaiji as an elementary school and forget my<\/p>\n
expectation about college. But again, no disappointment. Such places are so<\/p>\n
much needed in modern world! And to me, it at least helped me to see my recent<\/p>\n
past clearly and make a dot behind my previous period of life which was even far<\/p>\n
more dominant and insensitive.<\/p>\n
And how is my stomach going with the local food full of oil, sugar, meat, white<\/p>\n
flower and even chemicals, much less \u201chealthy\u201c than what I am recently used to?<\/p>\n
Isn\u2019t my illness actually getting worse here? Well, surprisingly, I have to say: no.<\/p>\n
It is not getting worse. Rather I even feel I am really curing myself here. And I<\/p>\n
have to approve the ancient and simple fact that all suffering eventually comes<\/p>\n
from desire.<\/p>\n
In Antaiji I found again the wisdom of an old Maori proverb which says: \u201cBad<\/p>\n
food will not change a good man, a good man will change the bad food.\u201d Good, in<\/p>\n
this context, means acceptive, humble and grateful, I would say, and I have to<\/p>\n
confirm that whenever I accept the food in this attitude, even a bowl of white<\/p>\n
spaghetti coming from \u201conly God knows where\u201d, swimming in a thick layer of red<\/p>\n
meaty oil, cause me no harm. But, on the other hand, even a small bowl of<\/p>\n
innocent miso soup taken in greedy manner without proper thanks, can bring<\/p>\n
one hour of annoying pain.<\/p>\n
So keep being surprised like this and getting new and new understandings, I<\/p>\n
think I removed all my previous expectations to Antaiji. I have none now. And<\/p>\n
anyway, I don\u2019t count at all. So what are such expectations for? This place will be<\/p>\n
here and keep it\u2019s direction whether I am here or not. I enjoy it as it is, having no<\/p>\n
ambition to change anything. And I am grateful that I can be here as a real<\/p>\n
patient who is taken care of. How easing it is when somebody else takes care of<\/p>\n
your schedule, of your meals, of your time for practice and when they give you<\/p>\n
good physical work outside to keep you fit while doing most of decisions for you<\/p>\n
and carrying the heavy weight of responsibilities. You just follow, but<\/p>\n
consciously.<\/p>\n
Thank you Antaiji, thank you sangha, I am really resting here and appreciating<\/p>\n
the rare opportunity to rest and heal while staying always a bit aside.<\/p>\n
But, on the other hand, it is true that I create Antaiji. For someone who looks<\/p>\n
from outside and sees me working here, eating here and sitting Zazen with<\/p>\n
everybody else, I am certainly part of Antaiji and I am giving it it\u2019s shape and<\/p>\n
content. So eventually I have responsibilities. And together with them there goes<\/p>\n
some expectations. Expectations on myself in and as Antaiji. Let\u2019s see what are<\/p>\n
those:<\/p>\n
I expect myself to never consider this place MY place.<\/p>\n
I expect myself to not teach others and give advices unless I am asked or unless<\/p>\n
the conditions and hearts are open enough.<\/p>\n
I expect myself to stay aside the group paralysis which is a bit going on here but<\/p>\n
at the same time to keep following the local rules, styles and rituals, and stay<\/p>\n
open to others.<\/p>\n
I expect myself to not feed my criticizing mind but also not to be silent when<\/p>\n
something constantly or strongly annoys me and disturbs my practice.<\/p>\n
I expect myself to tell unpleasant things to others in respectful manner with<\/p>\n
regards to their own benefit.<\/p>\n
I expect myself to be focused and fast but not to hurry and loose care and<\/p>\n
awareness.<\/p>\n
I expect myself to not cherish idle talks and speak bad about others.<\/p>\n
I expect myself that I will not get an extra bowl of food during and after proper<\/p>\n
meal time unless I am really hungry.<\/p>\n
I expect myself to not get an extra bowl of food before most of others take theirs.<\/p>\n
I expect myself to not identify with the selfs of others but at the same time grow<\/p>\n
empathy and compassion. I expect myself to learn to love others and cure their<\/p>\n
sicknesses while not getting infected myself.<\/p>\n
I expect myself to keep remembering that my feet are like hands and while<\/p>\n
walking always keep searching the connection with Earth space here and now.<\/p>\n
I expect myself to sit with awareness and not only for myself. I expect myself to<\/p>\n
sit for others.<\/p>\n
I expect myself to bring my everyday work and interactions with others to my<\/p>\n
Zazen and to bring my Zazen into work and communication.<\/p>\n
I expect myself to keep weakening the border separating my Zazen practice and<\/p>\n
ordinary life.<\/p>\n
I will try my best to fulfill these expectation. And that whether I am part of<\/p>\n
Antaiji or not. Thank you for this opportunity, time and space.<\/p>\n
Ondrej(31), Czech Republic
\n<\/tt><\/div>\n
<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
What do I (did I) expected from Antaiji Ondrej Straith on the first page of Antaiji website we can read: \u2026Zazen without gain, Zazen which is one with enlightenment, is what is put into practice here. Strong words. So when coming here I had some expectations to be honest. I expected sangha of devoted and … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":14761,"menu_order":4,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"side-navigation.php","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"_themeisle_gutenberg_block_has_review":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-14809","page","type-page","status-publish"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.antaiji.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/14809","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.antaiji.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.antaiji.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.antaiji.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.antaiji.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14809"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.antaiji.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/14809\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14857,"href":"https:\/\/www.antaiji.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/14809\/revisions\/14857"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.antaiji.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/14761"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.antaiji.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14809"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}